Posts Tagged ‘Courage’

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I can hardly believe it’s almost over – 2012 has flown by. It was only January of this year I started blogging. I’m blown away with how much fun it’s been and by the positive response from all of you. Thanks so much to all my faithful readers. You’ve encouraged me over this year and pushed me to grow as a writer. So as I write my last post for this year, it’s for you guys.

I’m looking forward to a new year of writing. My plans are big – complete revisions on my NaNoWriMo novel, as well as complete the second book in my YA series which I started earlier this year. And here’s to high hopes that the first book will find a publisher in the new year – that would be amazing. And of course, lots more blogging, too!

Wishing you all a blessed and happy New Year’s! Thank you guys. You’re the best!

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Just a thought for today from my favorite poet, Robert Frost, as we prepare to celebrate Christmas and the holidays. New Year’s is not far behind. I’ve felt many times in my life that I’ve chosen to take the least expected path, the more difficult road for the sake of art. So how about you? What are you writing about? Is it worth telling? Don’t be afraid to write it or to tell that story.

Have a Merry Christmas!

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

gongFive literary agents sat at a table across the front of the room. At least two hundred hopeful writers filled the audience, waiting. A basket full of anonymous query letters was to be read out loud for the panel.

If an agent liked what he or she heard, they’d let the announcer read on. If not, they’d strike the gong.

Three strikes and your query was out.

The Dilemma
I contemplated placing my query in the basket. Yes. No. Yes. No. Back and forth, until I chickened out and didn’t do it. I was afraid to hear what they would say. Afraid they wouldn’t like my story. And I wasn’t sure if I could handle hearing all that rejection. Not when I’d worked so hard on my novel.

So I sat in the audience, listening. Letter after letter was gonged. Some made it three words. Some made it a full paragraph. Only one made it all the way through without the dreaded gong ringing.

I was blown away. How are you supposed to get past any agent if they won’t even read three words?

Afterwards, I still wished I’d been brave enough to put my letter in. I realized, I would never know if I was throwing my query letter out there in the dark, or how to improve it. There was a room full of agents willing to shed light on their take of my letter, and I didn’t take advantage of it because I was afraid.

Letting Go of Fear
If we let fear rule our dream, if we’re never willing to risk, we may get discouraged and quit. We won’t be able to see how to improve or what steps to take next. Catching our dream is more than letting our emotions rule us. It’s controlling them, working despite the fear of rejection. Despite the naysayers. Sure, our work may not be good enough yet, but we have to keep working until it is.

Even though I was petrified to enter the Gong Show that day, I had an eye-opening experience. It was a defining moment in my writing life for me. I realized so many things I needed to do to make my writing stronger. Not just in the story aspects, but in learning how to articulate and how to market my writing.

The Risk
So why not take a step closer to your dream?

What’s the worst that could happen? Try something and it doesn’t work? Or ask someone for help? We don’t always like the advice we get, but sometimes, it turns out to be the very thing we need to hear, or the idea that solves our problem. And we may end up meeting a mentor or friend who will guide us closer to our dream.

Sure, rejection is painful, but victory is sweet. I know – so cliché. But if you never put yourself out there, how will you know which one you’ll end up with?

After the Gong Show, I spent the next several months reading new books on how to market my writing for publication and asking people who have been successful the best advice on how to make my query better. I even sent out that dreaded query letter to agents. It’s scary, but it will make me a stronger writer.

And next year at the conference, I’ll have my query letter ready to put in that basket.

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.”
~ Bo Bennett

What’s holding you back from catching your dream?
What things have discouraged you from catching your dream
?

Check out the rest of the series, Catch Your Dream:

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My husband bought this crazy exercise program with the brainstorm I’d try it with him. I’m more athletically challenged than anything else, and I laughed at him when he suggested it. There was no way.

Practice Makes You Better
He bought the DVD set anyway, along with weights, yoga mat, resistance bands and chin-up bar – the whole set up. I sat back as he started the program, sweating, huffing and puffing.

“It’s so much fun,” he told me. I thought he was crazy. “Just try it one day,” he said. “If you don’t feel better, you don’t have to do.”

“Fine,” I said. This will last like five minutes.

I got my workout clothes on, pulled my hair back, not really thinking I would work up a sweat. After all, I’d only be out there for a few minutes.

But an hour passed before I realized it. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done – trying to do weights and crazy exercises. Afterward, I wasn’t as sore as I thought I would be, and I felt really good. So I kept at it. Everyday. By the next week, I was able to do push-ups (small ones of course – does a few inches count?). And I could reach my toes without pulling my muscles. I hadn’t done that since college. Yikes.

By the end of those three months, I could run further than I’d ever run before, do more sit-ups than ever before. When we push through the hard parts, we grow into people we never knew we could be. We become stronger than we ever thought possible. And we achieve the dreams we thought were beyond our grasp.

The Myth About Practice
Sometimes, that’s easier said than done. I know. Figuring out the things you need to do to make you better is a hard task. But you’ve got mentors and friends to help you. So, ask them, what do I need to do to get better?

There’s this crazy myth about practice floating around out there. It says you have to spend hours every day, repeating boring stuff to learn it. To get good at it.

For the first decade of my musical life, I adhered to this myth. I know, sadly I admit it. No one ever told me that practice could be fun. And that it didn’t have to be so hard. I’d spend hours rehearsing music, starting at the beginning and fudging my way through difficult passages. Then I’d do it all over again. And again. And again.

Sure, I got better and improved as a musician. But it took forever! Who really has hours to waste, hoping they’ll get better?

Practice Smarter, Not Harder

Then my college professor taught me the secret to efficient practice: Practice Smarter, Not Harder.

She showed me how to work on the parts that were difficult. She gave me specific steps to take during the limited time I had. How to work on smaller chunks of music. How to plan my practice time for maximum results. And how a few minutes of fundamental practice each day would build my skills.

As I pursue my dream of writing, I find this same rule is true. You have to hone your craft and practice it everyday…but it doesn’t have to be boring or hard.

So what does that look like? For me, it means setting aside writing time everyday, keeping a writing log. I practice free-writing. Blog weekly and journal. I also practice some form of writing technique regularly, such as working on better dialogue and improved plotting. There are hundreds of great writing books with tons of helpful exercises.

I also make sure to include time to write fun things – the stuff that keeps my brain awake at night, the stuff that made me fall in love with writing. Oh, and I read a lot.

We’re always practicing for something. Even right now, in this moment. The question is, are you practicing things that will move you closer to your dream? Or are you practicing a legacy of waiting and wishing your dream would come to you?

If you’re truly passionate about your dream, why not give it a try? You might find once you start practicing, you won’t want to stop. And it may be more fun than you think.

“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing that makes you good.”~Malcolm Gladwell

What ways have you found practice to help you in pursuing your dream?

Check out the rest of the series, Catch Your Dream:

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When I tell people I taught 7th grade history, their response goes something like this: “Oh, I’m sorry. Seventh grade?” And you see their visible shudder. Part of me can relate, since my least favorite grade when I was in school was 7th. Big hair, awkward height, mismatched clothes…yuck. But when I got the call one week before school started – an official offer to teach history – I was excited.

My only public school teaching experience had been as in elementary music, so I had no idea what to expect. How do you keep 7th graders engaged? Or excited about history? I can still picture my boring history teacher sitting on her stool, lecturing from the textbook.

I did not want to be that kind of teacher, but I didn’t know what to do.

Jedi’s in an Everyday World
On the first day of new teacher in-service, I met my assigned teaching mentor. She was my age, had only a couple more years of experience. Tough and a little edgy. I wasn’t so sure she really knew how to help me. It was kind of like when Luke Skywalker met Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back. He’d been on a quest to find this great warrior, the only Jedi Master left. But Yoda turned out to be a shriveled green hermit with a walking cane. Not at all what Luke expected. (Not that my mentor was green or anything like that.) But she wasn’t like the experienced teachers I remembered from school.

Over the course of the year, my mentor taught me everything about teaching history. Even though she was young, she knew what to do and how to connect with students. She opened my eyes and showed me teaching was fun and rewarding. And we became great friends.

Finding My Writing Jedi
As I stepped on to the road of writing, I joined a writing group. Which meant I had to actually read my novel to other people. Out loud. Eek. My hands shook as I held the pages. What if they didn’t like it? What if they wanted me to change it all? What if they thought I wasn’t a good writer?

I’m sure my voice was a little shaky at first. And I’m pretty sure I read really fast, hoping to end my misery soon. After reading the first five pages, I looked up, unsure what to expect. I thought they would scowl at me or look bored.

But I was surprised. They all smiled and genuinely seemed to like it. They encouraged me and gave me good advice on how to improve my words. More than anything, they gave me the confidence I needed. I could do this writing thing. I could finish my novel.

Through that writing group, months later, I met a writer who became my mentor. My own Writing Jedi. He showed me ways to improve my craft, steps to grow as a writer, and most importantly, became my friend. One that I could go to when I needed help.

When we follow our dream, we have to seek out people to help us. They may be found in places we wouldn’t normally go. Or they may ask us to do things we’re not sure we can do.

Seasons of Mentorship
Eventually, Yoda left Luke to face his final task. He had to prove he could be a Jedi on his own. Whether we realize it or not, we are examples to those around us. We mentor them by our actions or words. It may be a helpful attitude, a word of encouragement or a book suggestion. Or it may be simply showing up to write everyday, even when we don’t feel like it.

So it’s important to ask, what kind of mentor am I to those around me? Am I too busy doing my own thing? Or do I have time to share with a younger person following their dream as well?

When you’re chasing your dream, you need others who are wiser, more skilled, more experienced to show the way. So seek them out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from someone who may have already walked that road.

How about you? How are you mentoring those around you?

Check out the rest of the series, Catch Your Dream:

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For those who may not have seen The Big Bang Theory on TV, Sheldon Cooper is a theoretical physicist who prides himself on always knowing everything. Big or small details. He knows it all…so he thinks.

With a general lack of social etiquette or understanding of sarcasm, his character points out others mistakes, but never apologizes for his own. According to Sheldon, “…you know me to be a very smart man. Don’t you think that if I were wrong, I’d know it?”

Of course the writer’s of the show love to make Sheldon eat his words. Which is why I love his character. He makes me laugh.

Showing Off
My sophomore year of college, I transferred to a university closer to home to study music. With new friends to make, harder classes to take and marching band during one of Texas’ hottest summers on record, I wondered if I had made the right decision.

The one thing I was sure about was my new flute professor. I was convinced I’d show her how awesome I was on flute, and lessons would be a breeze. When I walked into her office for our first lesson, she smiled and asked me to play for her. This was my chance to show off my amazing skills. Time to impress. I shuffled the music around on the stand and played Mozart.

About half way down the page, she waved her hand calmly, stopping me. “That was good,” she said. “But it wasn’t great. We’ll need to change some things.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant. What was wrong? I knew how to play the flute. Why was she telling me I needed to change? I have to hold my flute differently? I’d never heard that before. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about, I thought.

She explained her plan for my growth, but I wasn’t really listening. By the end of the lesson, I was in tears. No lie. I’d learned basics skills, even been top dog at my high school, but what I thought was virtuosity was merely proficiency to her. I’d have to grow if I wanted to become a professional flutist. And I didn’t want to hear that.

I finished the semester with her, not really trying as hard as I could. I’d already made up my mind to quit. As soon as class selection opened up, I changed majors. I was unwilling to do the work she asked me to do in order to grow.

Finding Passion Again
I floated through three different majors over the next six months, searching for my new passion. Surely it was in the business school or the computer science department. But none of those things resonated. I missed playing flute. I missed my friends. I missed music.

After many tears and prayers, and many long talks with my mom, I realized I had to follow my heart. Even though I knew I wouldn’t get rich as a musician, I decided to go back. Music was a part of me – a part I couldn’t let go, a part that wouldn’t give me up. When you’re passionate about something, you have to do it.

But I would have to humble myself.

I had to ask my professor to accept me into the studio. And I would have to make the changes she wanted. To my surprise, she agreed to take me back and held no bad feelings toward me for quitting. In fact, she was glad I returned.

I worked harder that year than ever before. My abilities advanced, and my technique improved. It wasn’t easy. Dozens of hours hiding out in practice rooms every week. Concertos to learn and concerts to perform. At times, there were tears of frustration. But my greatest moment was performing my senior recital for my friends and family. Three years later, I earned my diploma.

My teacher had seen my weaknesses right away and helped me face my insecurities. She’d pecked right through my pride. I had to let myself be teachable in order to grow. My teacher is a still a mentor and friend, one who has had the greatest impact on my flute playing.

Admit It
Don’t be afraid to ask. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know everything. If we go through our lives like Sheldon, we may miss opportunities that could change our lives for the best. We could be slamming the door on our dreams and not even realize it.

Sometimes, to achieve your dream, you have to be willing to humble yourself, to admit you may need guidance on your journey. We’re designed for community, so what better way to grow than in the company of friends and those who’ve been there before us?

What things have you had to change in order to pursue your dream?

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When I was a kid, we had a treehouse in our backyard with a ladder that seemed a hundred feet tall. The perfect challenge. One day, I stepped on the lowest rung, which barely scraped the ground, and jumped. That was too easy, so I jumped from the second rung, then the third and fourth, until I was half-way to the top. In my seven-year-old mind, I was invincible like a superhero. As long I thought I could make it, I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt.

Then I grew up and became aware of the crazy things in this world that cause pain. Like the time I sprained my ankle and couldn’t walk for days. Or the time I lost a friend in a car accident. We all have moments that make us aware of our vulnerability.

Little by little, they chip away our invincible attitude without us realizing it.

Be Daring Again
We lose our passions that way. Sometimes it’s by making excuses. Other times, it’s masking our frustrations about why we didn’t get that promotion or why we got a rejection letter. If we let them, those things can keep us from trying again.

Maybe we need to find that feeling of invincibility again. Where we’re willing to jump a little higher or say something a little louder. For some of us, that could mean not worrying so much about what we think others want to hear. Why not write what’s in our hearts – what we’re passionate about – and be a little daring again?

So what’s holding you back? Are you ready to pursue that passion?

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Jeff Goins challenges us to connect with others today.

Connecting to other writers helps us grow, encourages us to keep writing. Writers are the people who understand why we hear strange voices in our heads. Why we get up at crazy hours of the morning, or obsess about having the perfect cup of coffee in order to create a single word. We don’t ever have to explain to them  - they get who we are.

Connecting

I joined a writers group, afraid at first for others to read my work. What if they hated it? What if they told me my writing was terrible and I shouldn’t even be trying? I was struggling on my own, trying to figure out what to do to bring my writing to the next level, so I braved the scary experience. My fears were unwarranted as I found the other writers to be encouraging and helpful. I began to grow.

A couple of months later, I went to our annual conference and met a writer named Henry. All I knew about his was he had published his first novel recently. We happened to sit down at the same table for lunch and shared our writing stories. I didn’t think he would remember me after that, him being “famous” and all. But a few months later, we met again at the Christmas party, and he recognized me right away! I was so excited.

The following January, I went to my small critique group meeting, and was surprised to learn Henry was our new leader. I made sure to be there every month and bring something to share, trying to learn everything I could. After a few meetings, he offered to work more closely with me in my writing. I’d been praying for a mentor, and I knew he was God’s answer. We’ve been friends and writing buddies ever since.

Growing

The biggest impact on my writing has been the connections I’ve been blessed to make. By genuinely caring about others, being a true friend and having a willingness to help each other, my writing friends have changed my life. We help each other grow and make our writing better.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

Who has made an impact on your writing? How did you meet them?

If you’d like to connect with me on Facebook, check out Rachelle Harp, Writer.

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Prepare

Jeff Goins encourages us to prepare in our challenge today. Not think about our project or wish for it to be completed, but do something to make it happen.

The Dream

I had this dream to be a writer. I was really great about looking like a writer. My office was somewhat organized (I couldn’t make it too perfect – I was a writer, right?). The shelves were full of writing books I wanted to read. On the far wall, I hung my inspirational sign – “Chase Your Dreams.”

I was ready to be a writer.

But things got in the way. I was tired when I came home from work. There were cool shows on TV. That laundry really needed to get done. And my novel was a skinny little thing. Chasing my dream wasn’t working for me. I had to find a way to catch it if I wanted my novel to be complete.

Becoming a Writer

Preparation was essential. I started reading those books on my shelves. I got connected with other writers at conferences and joined a writing group. And I began to write every day.

In the business world, producers must ship their products out to stores or consumers. That means your product must be completed. As writers, we have to have those completed articles or books, or no one will read anything we have to say.

Ways to Get Ready to Ship

  • Try writing a blog post or article this week.
  • Share your work with your writers group.
  • Tell other people what you’re working on.
  • Have someone read your work in progress.

The key is, move forward in your work so others will read it.

What I’m Working On

There’s something in the works I hope you guys will like – an eBook about this idea of catching your dream. It’s still in the early stages, but I took some of the pages to my writers group this weekend and was encouraged by their feedback. It will be a while before it’s ready to ship, but I’m excited about it. My plan is to share it with you here on my blog.

So how about you? What are you working on? How are you preparing for your project?

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Day 4 – Practice
In today’s challenge, Jeff Goins tells us that practice doesn’t make perfect. He encourages writers to stop rehearsing and get out on the stage to perform.

Stage Fright
I’ve been a flute and piano teacher for years, and know the daily grind of practice. The one thing I always hated as a young musician were those dreaded recitals and auditions. I’d practice and practice for them. I had my music flawless (in my mind – I’m sure my teacher saw it differently!).

And then I’d walk onto that stage, all the lights glaring at me, and it was just me and my flute. And a hundred eyes staring at me. It was the stuff of nightmares, when you try to talk and nothing comes out. I’d bring my flute up, having no idea what the audience would hear. I thought my fear was that I would squeak or play wrong notes. But deep down, I was really afraid people wouldn’t like what I played, that I wouldn’t be good enough.

That I wasn’t really a musician.

When I actually got the nerve up to play, the squeaks and missed notes came. But this strange thing started happening. Each time I performed, I learned from my previous preparation, and I got a little better. And I learned how to play for an audience, even if my performance wasn’t perfect.

I was learning how to be a musician in front of hundreds of people. By the time I graduated college, those nerves were still there, but I had a confidence I didn’t possess when I first started playing the flute.

Writing Practice
When I started this blog, it was one of the scariest things I could think of to do. What would people think? Would they like what I’d have to say? What if I couldn’t think of anything to write each week?

But week after week, the ideas came. The blog posts got better (I hope), and the fear started to go away. I’m still growing as a writer, but what better way to practice than to share your passions and love of writing, and let others read your work?

The Challenge
Find a way to start practicing your writing for others. If you’ve been afraid to blog, why not give it a try? Or why not start submitting those articles for publication and see what happens? It might not be as scary as you think!


Check out Jeff’s blog post today: goinswriter.com/practice-perfect